What opportunities in life have you missed out on because you’re too scared of failing or disappointing others? How would it feel to dissolve your fear? What do you think would happen? What’s stopping you from making any changes?
Fear has this uncanny ability to sneak up during moments when significant opportunities are being presented to us. It also tends to creep in when we’re trying to muster up enough courage to make a big change—one that we’ve known for a while needs to happen.
Consider for a minute why this change that you want to make isn’t exactly happening and why you’re so scared to take the initial leap….perhaps it’s linked to the fact that you deny your feelings or ignore specific issues in your life because you don’t want to upset anyone or hurt their feelings? It’s almost as if you think you don’t have permission to think or feel the way you do. Maybe your mind resists the prospect of change because you think…..”why would I rock the boat?” Perhaps the problem is that you don’t even believe you can change?
Regardless of how you got stuck in this negative feedback loop, the truth of the situation is that you can only conquer your fears by facing them.
Resistance crops up in everyone, however, opening the door to examine fear is more challenging for some than it is for others. Ultimately, the difference between those who are successful at moving beyond their fears and resistance, versus those who remain stuck is a difference in mindset. For example, instead of saying; “Why rock the boat?”…..a more beneficial thought would be; “I can keep what’s good in my life, and the changes I want to make will only add to them.” Additionally, instead of saying; “I’m not the kind of person who ever changes”…..try saying; “there’s a part of me that yearns to live differently. I should give this a chance because I know this is what I want.” Do you see the difference? Successfully navigating our fear is directly tied to our mindset.
So, instead of trying to control your anxiety surrounding your fears, I also encourage you to try surrendering to them. Let them run their course and don’t try to wrestle with them. I know that if you stick this out long enough, you’ll discover that most of your fears are irrational and tied to the ego.
The next time you notice your fear beginning to creep back in, remind yourself that life is meant to flow and that you are connected to a deep source of intelligence that knows how to take care of you and your needs. At some point along your personal growth journey, you will want to test the possibility that you could be living a new story, and to do this, all you have to do is rest into existence!
Here are some tips for surrendering in the face of fear:
-Even when the details aren’t “perfect,” accept that the bigger picture will turn out okay in the end.
-When there’s a problem, look within for the solution, trusting that it will be there.
-Don’t act when you’re feeling upset, angry, scared, or unsure.
-Remain centered, and when you aren’t centered, take a few moments to restore your sense of calm and balance.
-Maintain a seamless flow in your activity; don’t exert yourself to the point of exhaustion but don’t slack off.
-Learn to trust your instincts and search for hints from your higher self regarding which way to turn.
-Don’t continue doing what you already know to be wrong or to cause you pain.
-Take responsibly for what you say, think, and do, without projecting blame or depending on someone else to handle things.
-Look upon external situations as a reflection of your inner situation.
You can choose and test these items at your own pace. For most people, changing the fear-based narrative of their story only starts when they see hope and that things can, in fact, change. When you begin to trust that you are safe and that your purpose is (and has always been) about love…..your true-self will emerge.
“If you knew the secret to life, you would choose no other companion but love.”
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